Pausetive Model In Action → Parents of Preadolescents
Overwhelmed by responsibility and emotional fatigue? We support parents in developing emotional balance, presence, and
better connection with their children. Building stronger families.
Understanding Their World
Parenting doesn’t always look like chaos. Sometimes, it looks like holding everything together. Work, meals, homework, emotions—done and dusted. But inside? It can feel like you’re running on fumes.
There’s love. There’s care. But also—fatigue. Emotional and mental. A quiet sense that you’re giving your best, and yet… something’s missing. Connection feels like effort. Patience runs thin. And guilt? Always lurking.
This isn’t about being a “bad parent.” It’s about being a tired one. And tired parents need support, not self-blame.
A Story from the Mind Gym
We met Shweta during a weekend parenting session. She showed up with a smile—but there was weariness in her voice. She spoke of her 10-year-old son with warmth, but also frustration.
“I snap more than I want to. I know he’s just being a kid, but sometimes… it feels like too much. I miss enjoying him.”
She wasn’t looking for parenting tips. She just wanted to feel like herself again. Present. Patient. Connected.
We didn’t rush into solutions. We simply asked Shweta to pause. Not fix anything. Just notice. What did her day feel like?
She realized she’d been in constant doing mode—getting things done, keeping the home running, helping with school. But she hadn’t felt her own emotions in weeks. Let alone connected to her son’s.
Step 2: Identifying the BEAT Patterns
Three patterns stood out.
Her Emotions were overloaded. She was absorbing everything—tantrums, worries, disappointments—without space to process any of it. She was reacting to her child with anger and outbursts. And then feel guilty when she experienced it.
Her Thinking Shortcuts were task-focused. The joy of parenting was buried under an automatic “to-do list” mindset. She felt her role was purely functional, which made it hard to feel connected.
Her Beliefs were shaped by social pressure. She was surrounded by people, who were like her. So she had imbibed their belief that ‘she can be a good person only if she is a good mother’.
Step 3: Developing the Right Skills
We started small. A few minutes each morning to check in with herself—not as a parent, but as Shweta. Just noticing how she felt. Identifying her BEAT patterns, naming them, and then processing them a bit.
We explored simple grounding techniques to regulate in-the-moment overwhelm. A pause before reacting to an emotion. A breath before responding. She realised that her ‘motherhood’ is perhaps getting over.
She remembered her own childhood. She saw her own photos when she was 10. She remembered the times she pestered her mother. And she also felt grateful towards her mother.
Step 4: Reflect and Iterate
Within a few weeks, something shifted. She met her mother and expressed her gratitude towards her for the first time.
She started responding to her son, not reacting. She started feeling less guilty. She started patting her back for the efforts she was taking although she wasn’t perfect in responding to him.
She started talking about the ‘motherhood’
From Struggle to Strength
Here’s how Shweta’s experience evolved:
When we met her…
Now, she shows…
Emotional fatigue
Emotional awareness and space
Snapping under pressure
Feeling grateful for the gifts.
Disconnected parenting
Knowing her next goal of motherhood
Doing everything for son
Doing something for herself
Understanding Their World
Modern fatherhood isn’t passive. Dads today show up—they drop kids to school, attend PTMs, read bedtime stories. And still, it doesn’t feel like enough.
There’s pressure to provide. To protect. To participate. And somewhere in the middle of managing meetings, family budgets, and school schedules—they hit a wall. Not of burnout, but of indecision. What’s the right way to raise a child? When do you guide, and when do you let go?
It’s not that they aren’t trying. It’s that they’re constantly second-guessing if they’re doing it right.
A Story from the Mind Gym
Arun came to us after his 10-year-old son ‘started crying’ when he asked him to go over a swing at the garden.
“I just froze,” he said. “I was very disturbed when he did not go on the swing. I did not know why. ”
Arun wasn’t a disengaged dad. Quite the opposite. He was involved, informed—and overwhelmed by all the choices modern parenting throws at you.
We didn’t jump into parenting frameworks. We simply asked Arun to pause and revisit the garden moment—not what he did wrong, but what made him confused.
He realized he was confused because he wanted to get it right every single time. It was the weight of constantly “handling things perfectly”.
Step 2: Identifying the BEAT Patterns
Here’s what stood out.
His Thinking Shortcuts were working overtime. He carried the silent weight of “handling things perfectly,” which made any deviation—like his son not wanting to go on a swing—feel like a personal failure.
His Emotions were being suppressed. He “kept his cool” on the surface, but underneath, the resonance of frustration was building. When it finally burst, it left his child feeling insecure.
His Beliefs about parenting were shaped by comparison. He had a silent belief that he was being judged by how his child performed compared to others, leading him to over-instruct rather than observe.
Step 3: Developing the Right Skills
We worked with Arun on simplifying his BEAT.
Instead of asking, “What’s the right way to parent?”, he began asking, “What does my son need right now?” This shift in Attention helped him move from performance to presence.
He started noticing his emotion of disappointment – when the child did not do what he was told. He started expressing his disappointment in less hurtful ways.
We also helped him reframe parenting. Not to configure child in one’s mould, but to help express the child.
Step 4: Reflect and Iterate
In time, Arun stopped feeling paralyzed by parenting choices. He didn’t become the “perfect” father—he became a present one.
He didn’t always have the answers. But he had a process. And that made him feel lighter. More confident. Less reactive.
From Pressure to Presence
Here’s how Arun’s parenting evolved:
When we met him…
Now, he shows…
Decision fatigue
Clarity and confidence in parenting moments
Suppressing the disappointment
Expressing the disappointment
Overloaded by advice on having a perfect child
Focused on what works for his child
Performing perfect father role
Living his role simply, steadily
Understanding Their World
Parenting rarely offers clean wins. There’s always something half-done, something you forgot, something you wish you’d handled better.
Most parents aren’t drowning—they’re treading water. Managing routines, showing up, holding space for everyone else’s needs. And still, the guilt sneaks in. About not being present enough. Not patient enough. Not joyful enough.
Not because they don’t care. But because they care so much—and run out of room to show it.
A Story from the Mind Gym
We met Shreya at a parent support session. She worked part-time, had 9 years old daughter, and described her days like a to-do list with no end.
“She just shifted to a new school – she is unable to adjust with new friends. She keeps crying every day for her missing friends. I have tried everything. Nothing seems to work”
She was stuck. She wondered if she should revert her child to old school. But she had struggled to get admission to the new school because it was supposed to be the best in town.
We asked Shreya to pause—not logistically, but emotionally. How did she feel when she shifted 3 years back to this new city? What did she go through?
She spoke about early periods. She spoke about missing her friends. She spoke about how she got a new friend due to her interest in Zumba. And how those friends led to other friends.
That’s where we started.
Step 2: Identifying the BEAT Patterns
Two areas stood out.
Her Thinking Shortcuts were drowning out the real issue. She was intellectualizing the change, telling her child about the “benefits” of the new school, while missing the emotional pain underneath.
Her Emotions were disconnected. She had forgotten the resonance of her own struggle when she moved cities, making it hard for her to empathize with her daughter’s daily tears of adjustment.
Step 3: Developing the Right Skills
We helped Shreya to recreate her own experience of three years back — of the struggles one has to go through when entering a new group.
She also generated new options for her child – She picked one strength of her child, her drawing skill, that could get her child into the new group, drawing of her school bus and her friends, a shared snack that her friends may like, a close friend whom she likes.
Step 4: Reflect and Iterate
In a few weeks, new options were used. When the options failed, they were listened to. No arguments, no suggestions to improve.
When the options worked, they were celebrated. More laughter, even on messy days.
When Shreya’s child recounted her friends, Shreya listened to her. Video called her friends.
Shreya’s child didn’t overhaul her life. She just started showing up differently with her friends .
From forgetfulness to presentness
Here’s how Shreya’s experience shifted:
When we met her…
Now, she shows…
Intellectualising the benefits to drown the emotional pain
